Why did the Weasley cross the road?

You're all bloody idiots. They aren't mine.

Come claim your knickers, you rotten little twit, so I can make sure and thank you properly for ruining each and every one of my robes with your filthy undergarments.

Pansy, you

Die.

Good lord. I thought Crabbe had eaten this thing.

No? What a pity.

Nice stunt, Potter, really. Perhaps the results of your actions will at last get you to Sod. Off. After all, it looks to me as if you've singlehandedly lost your team the game and gotten yourself a nice little talking to from McGonagall. Not only are you a pathetic Seeker, you really have no idea when to simply let things go.

In any case, Slytherin has rightfully won the game - and, might I add, mostly by my own doing. Now that Potter's not being shown a disgusting amount of favouritism, I guess we all know who the real talent is, don't we?

My hair. My HAIR. Which one of you imbeciles is responsible for -






Be prepared.

While Gryffindor house has always had a revolting amount of luck in regards to Quidditch, this streak of theirs has at last come to an end. There can be no doubt that Slytherin will easily win the upcoming match and, considering how we've fared in school competitions thus far, it's obvious that we don't need the Gryffindors' odd brand of luck. After all, we have actual talent - why yes, it is one of the countless things you're lacking, Weasley (some others, of course, being money, class, and oh, intelligence).

Oh, and like I said, Potter, passionate pursuers of the truth.

I wasn't aware that my whereabouts were as important as Potter's, nor was I aware that it's now a crime worthy of the Dark Lord himself to fall asleep whilst studying. And what sort of idiot sends Weasley on a search mission? The oaf's hardly capable of telling Potter's arse from his face.

I was in the library. The place with all the shelves and the books, Weasel, I'm sure the Mudblood's dragged you in there at least once. Next time, make sure you know what room you're actually desecrating with your presence, because you certainly hadn't set foot in the library.

In any case, I'm back in the common room, safe and sound. You can all stop worrying, since I now know just how much you all care for my well-being. Perhaps you should all tend to Potter, instead - after all, he seems to be rather upset now that he's not the undeserving center of your attention.



Pansy. Will you be accompanying me to the Toga Party?

Apparently, the Hufflepuffs adore Harper. Harper adores being a pissy little git. Neither is altogether shocking, although the fact that this ridiculous perfume has yet to come off is. Hufflepuffs are intelligent enough to create a potion so potent? Surprising. Then again, I'm certain it took the entire House to come up with the little idea, which entirely negates its cleverness.

The stupid scent's managed to stick to my robes - not to mention my Potions text. I do believe that the Hufflepuffs should lose points for destruction to my (read: Draco Brencis Malfoy's) property. Fifty or so ought to cover it - Pansy? Blaise? Someone needs to avenge our House. Just keep it quiet, as the Hufflepuffs are bound to whine for all eternity if they discover they've actually been - Merlin forbid! - punished.

These journals are idiotic. You are also quite possibly idiotic.

Good-bye.